Rock
Scissors
Fuck
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
