this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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