you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
