I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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