you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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