Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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