12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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