I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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