with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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