I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
