your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
