He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize