Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
