How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
