dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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