Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
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I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
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Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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