I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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