There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
