The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
