My first STD was from a foam party
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
