Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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