i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
