If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize
