Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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