Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I fill condoms, not promises.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
