Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
COCAINE IS GR8
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
