I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Actions speak louder than pants.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
