hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
