sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
