If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
