dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
