i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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