ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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