i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
