I hate all girls vehemently.
I think I died a long time ago.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Im part way to drunk.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
