dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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