dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i dont even know how to be here
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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