More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
