omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
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