This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
