I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
