ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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