Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
