I didn't shave. On purpose
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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