He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My dick has a subreddit
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
