Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
