Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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