I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
