Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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