K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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