this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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