i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
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You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
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Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.