I just pynch a tree in the face
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.