im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets