I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin