Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.