Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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