btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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