So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
