OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you would pick up someone in the library
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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