Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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