i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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