Will you blow on my dice?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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