Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
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